Tune2Love Blog

Online Dating and Relationship Advices

“I’m busy today” is a rather popular phrase in the modern world. We hear it here, there and everywhere. But do we understand it correctly? Let’s find out what girls mean when they say they are busy and learn how to respond to that.

What does it mean if a girl says she’s busy?

“I’m busy all the time.” is a manipulative excuse, a trap used by both women and men. There are a lot of variants of this phrase: “I can’t go out today, I need to help my friend ​​… and I can’t today too, cause my dog caught a cold … and today too cause my boss told me to stay till midnight”, etc.

It is used so often that it has lost its disguise, which is one of its main features. Now, it’s a clear sign of a lack of interest in a person. It is easily recognized, but it is very difficult, long and exhausting to fight it.

It’s a convenient excuse in almost any case of indifference. The woman says she is super busy these days, postpones meetings, does not call for a long time (even if she promised) and does not answer calls, requires dates to be short, and not to end very late. And when a man begins to find out why he did not get the promised call or a date, he receives an eternal excuse as an indignant answer “I was so busy, I had no time to message!”.

Photo by Pexels on Pixabay

However, everyone understands that if a person really wants to meet or hear your voice, they will find time for this in any case, even if they are really busy.

This is what is called “I have no time for YOU.” She doesn’t regect you just to “save you” in case she is extremely bored. You are her Plan B. 

Is she busy or not interested?

Is she really busy or not interested? How can you tell if she tries to manipulate you?

If she is busy but interested, her explanation will contain the following three components:

  • explanation
  • alternative
  • respect for the man and his time (that is, reality and certainty).

For example, “Sorry, I can’t come tomorrow. I need to prepare for the exam, let’s go there the day after tomorrow at 18 pm. Will it be okay?”. 

The first element – explanation of the reason for refusal – is optional but desirable as an indicator of the girl’s honesty.

The second component is an alternative is the option proposed by a girl. The option must be real – a date that is postponed for a day or two. The offer to wait a week should be considered only if a girl is on a business trip in another city/country.

However, don’t fall into the “wait a little longer” trap.

Photo by Nik Shuliahin on Unsplash

And the most important thing is respect for the personality of a partner and his time. In a civilized society, this is one of the main indicators of a person’s reliability. Postponing the meeting for a long time is a sign of real disrespect for a person and an attempt to put him in a dependent position.

But sometimes the girls say an awful thing such as “On Friday and Saturday… no I can’t, call on Sunday, I’ll tell you if I’m free.” Thus, she puts a man in an uncertain position, and he must be in limbo for several days, unable to even plan things. Not mentioning the dependence on the will of the girl.

Should I ask her out again if she said she was busy?

If you realize that’s a trick of a girl, decide whether you need such a girl. Do you like her enough to continue seeking meetings with her? If you think this girl deserves it, there is one thing you can do. Read on.

So, if your girl begins to avoid meetings, you should immediately tell her that won’t do, it will not work with you. It makes no sense to listen to her excuses and wait until she decides to meet. Create such circumstances that will be a push for her to make a decision right now and not waste your time. In most cases, such a straightforward attitude makes a girl agree to meet as you will show your b manly side and independence.

How to respond when a girl says she is busy: 2 examples

1. Letting her go

– Let’s go out tonight

– I can’t.

– OK. And tomorrow?

– I’m busy tomorrow too.

– Then the day after tomorrow…

– And the day after tomorrow.

– Well, whatever you wish. Bye!

2. Winning her

– Let’s go out tonight.

– I don’t know, I have a lot of stuff to do today.


– What about meeting over coffee today?

– Oh, there are many things I need to put in order, let’s go in maybe 3 days.

– Why not be honest? If you don’t want to, it’s Ok to say that directly. So, if you want – when exactly, if not, we’ll just say goodbye. (Yeah, a bit pushy, but works)

– It’s not that at all! Ok, let’s go tomorrow, 5 p.m.

We are sure you will win the heart of your girl. Good Luck!

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