by Jessie Brewin Relationships are great, but, unfortunately, we do not always have enough inner resources for that. So, if you are one of those who now do not dream of big big love but are ready to try something new as friendship with benefits, we wish you good luck and give you a couple of practical tips below.
How to find a friend with benefits
Choosing the right person for that is the hardest part, which determines your success.
Pay attention to those who turn you on but forget about ex-gfs and best friends.
Even if you still believe they’re pretty, even if you really don’t mind hooking up with them. When there are both emotional and sexual relationships between people, it is only a matter of time when you start to think about a serious relationship. And it’s definitely not your intention.
Your ideal candidate should be the person you know but not too well. Not the one who knows that you love wine with m&m’s when you are sad. First, in this case, it will be much easier to start talking about sex. Secondly, if something does not go according to plan, you won’t be filled with shame.
There is always a risk you can ruin your friendship with the person. That’s why it’s worth considering not your close friend for this position.
Never try to be friends with benefits with a girl you like or the one you know likes you. This can lead to nothing great unless it’s mutual, of course. There have been cases where FWB has developed into relationships, but these are exceptions to the rules.
Of course, a girl with some experience in FWB will suit you better. She won’t expect any feelings from you or extra attention.
How to ask someone to be friends with benefits
It is also vital to learn how to ask a friend for sex without losing them.
First, don’t be so serious, add some humor when asking. The more playful and flirty you can speak, the better.
When you are confident and relaxed, your behavior sets the right tone for the conversation, which will definitely lead to an agreement between you two.
Feel free to mock the situation, say something like, “I know this sounds like a bloody cliche, but what do you think about becoming friends with benefits?” If a girl doesn’t like the idea, she will just laugh.
Before diving into friendships with benefits, set boundaries with your partner. Are you going to date somewhere other than the bedroom? Sleeping with other people (the answer seems obvious, but it’s better to be sure to agree)? Explain that if someone wants to end this sexual relationship, you will try to return to good old friendships. In fact, this does not require much work, you just need to approach the issue as an adult.
When to ask a friend for sex
Ask about friendship with benefits after your first sex. Asking before the first sexual experience is too daring, and there is a great opportunity to find yourself in an awkward situation. You can offer a friend casual sex during flirting, but the question of a more permanent relationship should be voiced after the first experience with a person so that both participants understand precisely what it is about. Otherwise, it’s like asking someone out on a second date before the first.
You can also ask about friends with benefits after you’ve slept with a person six times. It is necessary to voice the question because the partner may misinterpret the kind of relationship. Direct communication is the key to friendship with benefits. After the sex with your friend, as soon as possible, when she is dressed, voice the proposal. Say, “Hey, I felt really good yesterday, and I don’t mind repeating it. But I have to make sure we’re talking about friendship with benefits, not dating and romance. It’s okay if you don’t want to, I’m just curious.”
Do not start a conversation about difficulties in your personal life or not being ready for a serious relationship.
We shared everything we know about how to find a fwb. If you have more ideas, please share them with us in the comments!
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