Tune2Love Blog

Online Dating and Relationship Advices

Have you found yourself thinking about someone the entire day? From the very moment you open your eyes in the morning, during lunch, and till the time you are in your bed and even in your dreams, this person refuses to leave your thoughts? 

No, it doesn’t necessarily mean you are in love. Sometimes it’s an obsession that takes its roots deep in your consciousness. Today, we are going to figure out what might be happening in your brain and how to cope with it. 

When you can’t stop thinking about someone: psychology explains the reasons

  • You have a crush on this person or you are in love

You can feel strongly attracted to a person based on how they look, behave, or what interests they’ve got. And that’s a natural output that you can’t get this person off your mind. 

It can be just a new acquaintance, a person you just started to build a relationship with or your ex-partner.  It also can be a person with whom you cut off the communication for some reason before you get to know them, which in turn pushes your mind to create fantasies about the person. 

  • This person is a puzzle for you

If you met a person whom you can’t figure out, they are kind of a mystery to you. That triggers the natural result in you thinking of them all your spare time. 

This often happens when we don’t know someone well or have recently met. You can puzzle over their words or behavior, trying to figure out if they like you or not. Such enthusiasm may not go away for a long time until at some point you realize that you are thinking too much about this person and it’s not okay.

  • You want to have their life

It is not envy we talk about here but a strong desire to be a part of someone’s life or actually be that person. If somebody is your role model, it happens that you think about that person a lot. 

It can be a person you know from Insta and whose perfect life you see every day. It can be a guy with a bunch of cool friends who are partying hard when you are home studying. Or any other person that happens to live the life you want to live.

a bored woman in the office
Photo by Johnny Cohen on Unsplash
  • You want to fix their life

Some of us are very empathic and caring to such an extent that when we meet a person that somehow needs help, we want to become their savior and painkiller. We can’t stand seeing the person struggling or suffering so give up our own lives and do our best to fix other person’s problems.

So you don’t stop thinking of that someone till you are done. Sometimes it’s good. But if you cross boundaries trying to help a person who doesn’t ask for it, you’d better consider distracting yourself and taking care of your own life.

  • You try to get distracted from your own life

If you’ve met someone who draws your interest, your brain may immediately focus on that object as a way to distract yourself from what’s going on in your life.

For example, if you have problems at work or disagreements in your family, your thoughts will try to get away from these difficulties with the help of another person.

You may realize that it is too early to think about a new romance if you have just met, but there is nothing you can do about it. You ask yourself what to wear to a meeting with them, how to impress them, or what they are doing now, etc.

In search of answers, you will constantly fantasize and imagine possible situations. Thus, you are distracted from those troubles that may occur in your life.

  • You are lonely and bored

So even a stranger who smiled at you in a store will cause a lot of emotions and thinking. Another person can figuratively live in your head all the time if you suffer from loneliness.

This can happen if you recently became interested in someone or just got out of a relationship. If this is a recent acquaintance, then perhaps you are trying to drown out the feeling of loneliness and miss the sensations when you were a couple.

If you haven’t had a relationship for a long time, then this infatuation can easily turn into an obsession when you constantly imagine how could everything be wonderful between you two.

You may not even want to be with this person, and you are just looking for an object to get rid of the feeling of abandonment.

If your thoughts are about your ex, you may also feel lonely after the relationship ends. The transition to a lonely life can be difficult, and you may just miss the person next to you.

The feeling of loneliness is especially acute in the evenings when we mentally return to a certain person.

a thinking man sitting on the floor
Photo by Pexels on Pixabay

Is it true that if you think about someone they are thinking about you too?

No. And kinda yes!

We all have an intuitive sense of connection with another person. Have you ever thought about someone, and soon this person called or wrote to you? Probably yes. But only in case we are close with the person.

While it cannot be said with certainty that the subject of your attention is thinking of you at the same time as you, there is such a possibility.

If this is a person with whom you often meet or talk, then perhaps you have some kind of emotions for each other. For example, you’ve talked a lot and recently said goodbye after spending a wonderful day. In this case, the likelihood that they also think of you is high.

How to get someone off your mind: tips that really help

When you can’t get someone off your mind, it’s distracting. And it drains all of your mental energy from you. You could read a cool new book, or dedicate yourself to having fun with friends, but instead, you have just been staring at the ceiling for the last two hours? These are the things you can do right now to change the state of things. 

1) Realize your feelings and the reason why you keep thinking about that person. Write down your feelings. It really helps see yourself from the other perspective and analyze yourself. Why do keep thinking about the person? Is it destructive or brings joy? If you are a sane person, you will understand whether you should go on with this kind of behavior. 

2) Get over yourself, don’t stalk the person on social media. If you don’t want to be so obsessed with a person, don’t look at them on social media. They say heart not see, eye not feel. 

3) Focus on your real true love – yourself. That’s the hardest task, but once you start it will get easier. Do the things you have been putting off: some dance classes, yoga, speaking and book clubs, etc. Do what you love. 

The greatest advice – go on a date with yourself. Literally. Buy tickets to a movie/play/concert, book a table at a fancy restaurant, take photos, etc. Enjoy your own company see how cool you are as a date! It will help you focus on yourself, and your emotions and enjoy being you. 

4) Get rid of everything that reminds you of the person (if it’s was a breakup)

All the memorabilia should be got rid of. You don’t need these reminders. 

5) Get in touch with your real friends. They will distract you and you will see again what it’s like to have quality time. Not crushing over one person but giving and receiving emotions with people who appreciate your attention.

6) Seek therapy if with time and all the effort put you still think of a person who does not deserve that. That’s vital. Your mental health is a priority. If you feel that you can’t control your obsession, discuss it with your psychologist. Together you will figure out what you are going through and how you can deal with it. 

We hope the article appeared to be useful. If you were in a similar situation and managed to get over it, please share your experience in the comments. It would be lovely to hear from you.

Your Tune2Love 

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