by Jessie Brewin You may be either the wife whose husband appeared to be a jerk or the second girl for whom the other woman’s husband leaves. Or you may not even have a husband yet but are interested in men’s psychology and want to know how to prevent your man from leaving.
Whatever the reason why you are here is, we are going to understand why a man can leave a wife for another woman today.
Reasons why husbands leave for another woman
Reasons are numeral. So we united them into 11 categories.
1. Сommunication problems with his wife
For example, a wife has a grumpy, bitchy, hysterical character, she can offend and even hit her man. Or the husband and wife do not have common interests. Or as men say, “There is no mental comfort”, “There is nothing to talk about”, “There are no common goals and interests”, “We differ in our life views”, “My wife is fixated on children and TV shows, she is not interesting to me”, etc.
However, in fact, the man’s indication of “problems in communicating with his wife” is most often incorrect. The fact is that when talking about family matters, men (as well as women) almost always confuse the cause with the effect. Suppose, in fact, the family is ruined by financial problems, the fatigue of the wife from caring for a small child, and poor intimate life. The degree of miscommunication between the spouses is growing, the husband and wife start to argue. If there is no most effective and natural emotional release in the form of regular intimacy, communication between spouses collapses completely.
2. The lack of a regular and interesting intimate life with his wife
This is one of the most crucial points for all age categories up to 50 years old. Moreover, the above item “due to problems in communicating with my wife” actually also hides in itself many references to problems in the intimate communication of spouses.
3. Because his wife cheated on him
Although according to the statistics, 8 out of 10 men have cheated on their wives at least once during their marriage, they still continue to consider cheating on their wives as a clear signal for divorce. However, in real practice, only half of the men are actually divorced if their wife is cheating. The rest make scandals, demonstrative departures, etc., but in the end, they still decide to save the family.
4. His wife doesn’t look so hot anymore
It may be excess weight gain after the birth of the child, or she just neglects her appearance or her style of clothing isn’t sexy enough, etc. Pretty obvious reason, which can be easily fixed.
5. Conflicts between spouses’ relatives
For example, because of the fights between the husband and the father-in-law or mother-in-law or vice versa. There are especially many complaints from men that relatives of the wife live with them in the apartment, that they can come to the spouses when they please, that the wife is completely dependent on her mother’s opinion, etc.
6. Unresolved financial or household problems
For example, a man lived comfortably at home with his mother before marriage, and after the wedding, he moved to his wife’s parents or to a rented apartment, hostel, etc. Or the husband earns good money, but the wife behaves extremely wastefully. Or the husband discovers that his wife is a bad housewife.
7. Because of conflicts between the wife and the friends of the husband or vice versa
For example, if the behavior of his wife is actually controlled by her overly smart friends. Or a man frankly admits that he values communication with childhood friends or work colleagues much higher than communication with his wife. Therefore, the wife’s attempts to “erase” her husband’s friends from the life of the family can lead to a breakup. Although she may be completely right since her husband’s friends are problem individuals.
8. Due to the specifics of the worldview and character of a man
Most often, we are talking about the complete infantilism of the man, who, having started a family, quickly realized that he was completely unprepared for responsibility for his wife and children: he cannot part with beer and computer games, with gambling or criminal life, communicating with problematic friends, flirting with girls at work or on social networks. Such men admit that they do not feel the desire to work and earn more for the good of the family, they are not in the mood to deal with every day and other problems, even if they are connected with their wives and children.
However, sometimes something else happens. At some point in time, a completely normal husband may experience such severe stress in life (due to the loss of loved ones, work, business; criminal, police or other “run over”, a deadly disease, etc.), which can lead to the development of neurasthenia, depression, alcoholism, suicidal thoughts, psychopathy, even schizophrenia. There are also the usual age-related changes in the thinking and behavior of an adult man. Of course, all this can provoke a man to such unexpected, harsh, and uncompromising decisions like leaving the family.
9. A man’s prime goal is to make a career, do business, science, etc.
Such men say that it was only after the wedding that they realized that in fact marriage very much hinders them in realizing themselves as a Person. They say that they came to this world to first take place in something Big.
When a girl can’t get pregnant for too long. It may also be a discovered difficulty in communicating with the wife’s child from her past marriage, or a woman has issues with a man’s child from his past relationship. A rarer option is the refusal of a man to participate in the upbringing of that joint child who was born with severe physical or mental pathologies. It also may be a serious conflict between a man and his own adolescent children; a deep resentment of the husband that his wife had an abortion without his consent; a deep resentment of the wife that her husband sent her to abortion, after which the things got heated.
11. Routine
The stability and regularity of family life quite often lose their attractiveness, turning into boring rituals and habits. The daily fulfillment of mutual obligations is at the same time something without which living together is impossible. But it anyways leads to the fact that vivid emotions in family life fade.
When a man leaves his family for another woman, can you stop him and how do you behave?
Half of the husbands leaving the family want to go back even without receiving appropriate calls from their wives.
The first step is to find out why or for whom your husband left the family. This is the very first thing you should always do. You cannot solve a problem without finding out the reasons for it. After all, to return your husband to the family, you will need to interest him, and for this, you need to find out what he needs, what he is interested in.
Then, objectively assess all your strengths and weaknesses to understand what exactly you should pay attention to. If you cannot objectively assess yourself, then ask your friends, relatives, or psychologist to assess you.
When you find out what attracts men to you and what repulses, engage in the development of your strength and hide weaknesses.
You need to interest him. You see, to return your husband, you need to seduce him again, you need to make him feel attracted to you so that he wants to be with you.
Most women do not understand this – they follow their emotions, make scandals, throw tantrums, and so on. You shouldn’t do this. It doesn’t work. Begging your husband to return, to humiliate yourself in front of him is also not necessary. It won’t help. Think about his interests, not yours. Only then, you get a chance to get him back.
What can you give your man? You must have some virtue that attracts men. Let’s now take a look at what men usually look for and how you can give your husband what he needs to get him back.
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Sex
You may not be as sexy as another woman, not so young, but you are smarter, wiser, more cunning. Make sex with your husband, if you still have a relationship with him, fabulous. Learn, if necessary, how to give pleasure to a man – today all the necessary knowledge on this issue is available to everyone. Diversify sex with your husband, play sexual games with him. Surprise him and yourself with something new.
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Relationship
It is necessary to delve into the problems of your husband before he decides to leave. Usually, before this, a lot changes in his behavior – he begins to pay less attention to you, stops communicating, starts to argue, swear. In general, it is possible to foresee, and what is especially important, to prevent your husband from leaving by improving your relationship with him. Sometimes you need to change only a few things in life so that your relationship becomes better, more interesting, more beautiful. For example, you can advise your husband to quit a job where he feels bad, you can offer him to move to another city or another country, if there is such an opportunity, or you can suggest making any other changes to your family and/or his personal life to make him feel much happier. In general, a woman needs to become a psychologist for her husband – to analyze his behavior, study his life in order to understand what can be changed in it so that the husband feels like a happy person and does not have to leave the family.
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Communication
Pay very serious attention to your communication with your husband – think over your every word, communicating with him, as if at this moment you are conducting important negotiations in which you need to make the best impression on the person. But your communication with him should be equal. On the one hand, you do not need to show him that you are afraid to be left alone, that you really want him to come back, that you will try to do everything for him, and so on. The bottom line is that during communication you should talk only about the good and the main thing, about what connects you with your husband, completely ignoring all the bad things. Awaken pleasant memories in him so that your image in his head is associated with the kindest moments in his life. This causes cravings for the person, even if parting with him was very bad.
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Development
We need to work on ourselves constantly in order to be interesting both for ourselves and for other people.
Is it Ok when a man leaves his wife for you?
If there is no love in his family and he is suffering, then of course it’s ok when he tries to escape to a better place. And if you two have a strong connection, then it’s absolutely acceptable. You shouldn’t feel guilty if it’s your man’s choice.
We are not judges, we don’t know your story, but probably you are a mature person who knows better what is good for you.
How to get him to leave his wife
That’s the topic for another article but in brief,
- tell him what you expect from this relationship
- set a time limit for a man to leave his wife and be with you
- limit your interactions with him after telling him about your expectations
- don’t try to tell his wife or family about your relationship
- pause your relationship if he doesn’t quit.
We hope you enjoyed the article,
Your Tune2Love
